There are two kinds of people: those who see a movie once, and those who don’t.

I’m a multiple viewer, a serial movie-lover who can see some movies 2, 3, 6, 9, 12 times. I know every line of dialogue, every note of the music soundtrack. I memorize the background, the license plates of passing cars. I can tell you how many sugars the leading man takes in his coffee, and the color of the leading lady’s nail polish. Continue reading “LAUGHLINES: When It Comes to Movies, Once Is Not Enough” »

White lights? Multi-colored? Single-color? The Great Holiday Décor Debate heats up in our house right after Thanksgiving.

Yup, we’re in for the usual knock-down, drag-out about this year’s holiday decorations.

I’ll soon be running down to the basement closets to check out the Christmas décor. Those lights, garlands and tinsel sure stir some wonderful memories. Okay, I admit some of the stuff doesn’t ring a jingle bell — Continue reading “LaughLines: Time to Light Up! Holiday Decorating 101” »

This past weekend, the power went out (again) at our house, which meant firing up the generator and firing up everyone’s tempers.

It’s hard to be in a good mood when you’re restricted to one room with heat, and have to share said room with one husband (who alternated between surly and horny, don’t ask me why), two teenagers (they were just surly) and three dogs (they put on the most positive front during our ordeal, by the way). Continue reading “LAUGHLINES: Power to the People – Please!” »

The weather’s been awful this winter, and we’ve seen lots of news reports of stranded travelers at airports, sleeping on floors and benches.

I can relate, since I’ve slept in some very odd spots over the years.

When I was in college, I slept in a few cars. Not sure if this is a rite of passage, but when you’re a student on a road trip, you can’t afford a suite at the Marriott. Continue reading “LaughLines: How to Sleep (Almost) Anywhere” »

As I sat in the airport the other day, I killed time by making a list of things I just don’t get:

I don’t get allowing dogs in ‘people’ stores. I saw a guy in New York City stroll into a GAP with his leashed dog and no one batted an eye. I love dogs, but I go shopping to escape the constant panting and poop clean-up. Is there no safe haven? Continue reading “LAUGHLINES: Things I Just Don’t Get” »

I just spotted a Facebook post by the friend of a friend (do we really know all the people we “friend” on Facebook? I think not.) about the death of her child’s fish.

If you have kids, you have pets, and when you have pets, well, death soon follows. The smaller the pet, the bigger the chance you’ll end up having a funeral.

Fish are especially short-lived. We had a fish aquarium when we were growing up, with lots of exotic fish, but they ended up dead Continue reading “LAUGHLINES: Moms Master of Pet Funerals” »

Matt and I went to a wedding over the weekend, and wow. What a romantic event. Made me ashamed of my wedding, back a million years ago.

This wedding was the kind you see in a movie. Less than 100 guests and an outdoor ceremony in a garden. The bride wore a slip of a dress (she’s a slip of a girl) and the groom was appropriately bashful and beaming. Continue reading “LAUGHLINES: She’s Got the Wedding Bell Blues” »

Last night, Matt asked me about my next hair appointment. I thought he was going to complain (again) about the cost of my highlighting, but no – he instructed me to get the gray out.

Ouch. I have blonde highlights to camouflage the gray hair, but apparently it isn’t working. Continue reading “LAUGHLINES: Color Me Beautiful, but Gray” »

I hate to cook and I don’t care who knows it.

I’ve tried to cook. I once cut a few dozen recipes out of women’s magazines, but I’ve yet to make even one. They’re too complicated, they have too many ingredients that I don’t have and don’t want to run out and buy, and frankly, I don’t have the time. I have better things to do, like sleep and — yes, eat.

I don’t have a Cuisinart or a steamer, or a set of professional knives. My oven is electric – no fancy-schmancy gas cooktop stoves for me. No subzero freezer, warming oven, or hanging brass pots that scream “I am a real cook!!”
I don’t have cookbooks, but if I did, I’d be using them to prop up the dresser in my bedroom that’s missing one caster. The kitchen canisters we got as a wedding present 20+ years ago are not in the kitchen filled with flour, sugar or recipes. They’re in the basement, filled with crayons, Legos, and marbles.

Sure, I watch “Top Chef” on cable occasionally, because it’s fun to watch people sling, toss, mash, bash, cube, Continue reading “LAUGHLINES: The Joy(lessness) of Cooking” »