At an evening class at Stanford, the last lecture was on the mind-body connection — the relationship between stress and disease.  The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman. Whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.

At first everyone laughed, but he was serious. Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences.  Physically this quality “girlfriend time” helps us to create more serotonin — a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being.

Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going.  Jobs? Yes.  Sports? Yes.  Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf?  Yes.  But their feelings? — rarely. Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters, and evidently that is very good for our health.

Were you guys every really happy together? If you can truly answer yes to this question then chances are there is something there that you two can work with. But keep in mind it’s always easy after a breakup to only think of the happy times, not only that, something provided the impetus for the breakup.
That is as they say “the elephant in the room” that must be dealt with. You and your ex may still love each other a great deal but will you be able to put the conditions surrounding the breakup behind the two of you? May the better question that should be asked is whether it will really be worth it or not?

Obviously when making such a determination as whether to reunite with an ex there is much to consider. After spending some time with your mate and getting to know them you now have certain knowledge of them you didn’t necessarily have when you first met them, and in certain cases this might not be a good thing. Will you be able to deal with your ex’s excessive complaining or bickering when it comes to certain things? Or some of their eccentricities that would tend to drive you crazy. Things like their habit of keeping their home so clean that it would border on obsession?

If you want to get back with your ex you must first ask yourself is this something that I truly want? Not only that, but will it be what’s best for me? If you feel that you can confidently answer in the affirmative to those two questions then my advice would be to contact your ex and attempt to gauge if you can sense any interest on there part as well.

During this discussion you shouldn’t just blurt out that you still love them, that you want them back and or haven’t be able to sleep and that you can’t live without them, etc. For obvious reasons, it makes you look desperate. Maybe it’s just me, but desperation just doesn’t look attractive on anyone. Although they will want to know that you are suffering just as much as they are, they would rather not have to hear you say it in such an act of desperation. Just the fact that you’ve taken the time to call speaks for itself. Of course it doesn’t speak to the degree of your suffering in the wake of the breakup but what it does say is that you still care, possibly answering at least one of their questions.

At this point you will want to take things nice and slow. Don’t obsessively call your ex asking them to take you back. Doing so will only drive you guys further apart and serve to underscore their decision to part ways with you in the first place. So just give your ex some needed space by showing them that you “have a life” and that despite the breakup you are doing just that, living your life. They will appreciate this level of maturity demonstrated from you and it may even assist them in deciding in your favor.

Not only that if you take a step back, give them the much needed time and space, you’ll be doing yourself a favor as well. They may see you as more desirable because you are permitting them time to miss you. You know what they say about absence? It does make the heart grow fonder.

(Article Dashboard) – You met last year on New Year’s Eve at Time Square and shared your first kiss at the stroke of midnight. You had an instant connection that you’ve never experienced with anyone in your history of gay dating – it was a perfect night!

But, there’s a downside – you were just visiting New York for the holidays. Your career, family, friends and dog are all in San Jose. Because you both have high-powered careers, you’ve only had the opportunity to spend a couple weekends visiting each other. When you’re together everything just feels so right though. It’s about time you have ‘the talk’ – should you try to make things work long distance or not? Are you willing to do whatever it takes? And most importantly, will you be happy?

Long-distance relationships can be extremely difficult and will definitely put your relationship to the test, but they are possible to maintain. There are scads of happy gay couples that make their relationships work even when they’re far apart physically. There are ways to keep your relationship alive. So as long as your partner is up for the challenge, go for it! Eventually you can take the next step and merge your lives into one by moving to the same city.

Long-distance relationships require extra attention and care to keep the connection and intimacy strong. Here are some tips for maintaining a long-distance relationship:

· Talk to your partner as much as possible, always share what’s going on in your life and ask questions about theirs to give one another a sense of being involved in one another’s daily lives

· Pursue meaningful activities in your regular schedule that help you develop as a person and prevent you from being lonely

· Stay positive and upbeat when communicating with your partner and affirm your feelings and commitment often

· Keep something that reminds you of your partner somewhere where you’ll see it often so you feel their presence

Once you’ve put a significant effort into making your long-distance love work, re-evaluate the situation. If you find that you’re suffering from the absence of physical affection, you fear that your partner may be disloyal, or the distance is a barrier to achieving the emotional intimacy you desire, it might be high time to get off the emotional roller-coaster ride of the long-distance relationship and find a compatible partner in San Jose.

Although it may be difficult to move on, remember there are plenty of fish in the sea and your odds of landing a great catch are especially high when you use a reputable same-sex dating service like Nuera Network. Nuera Network San Jose matches gay singles based on compatibility so you know you’ll meet the best matches for you who is also looking for love and a long-term commitment. Best yet, you’ll only be matched within San Jose. You’ll be able see your partner on a daily basis!

(Article Dashboard) – Okay, before you start playing cupid and taking on the role of matchmaking guru, you have to ask yourself: Are you doing it right? You have to know that not every cute guy deserves to be with your pretty girlfriend Kate. Or that not every Brad Pitt look-alike will actually hit it off with your Jen Aniston doppelganger friend. (Besides, we all know how that relationship went.)

Matchmaking is a long-standing practice that actually works. But it works IF done right. If as a friend, you can still get matchmaking totally wrong, imagine how even trickier it is if your friend goes the traditional online love match route. There are hundreds of photos and profiles to choose from—and who knows if these profiles and photos are even accurate (is he really self-employed or a bum?), updated (is this photo even recent or from 10 years ago?), or even true (does she really hold a Master’s degree—did she really graduate from university at all?)?

If your friend is really keen on finding a love match—and, as a friend, you’re likewise really keen on helping her find it—then there’s really only one thing to do. Be an active, informed, and suave matchmaker.

You can do it with just one click of a finger. You can actually play matchmaker online by doing the introductions for your friend to a “prime target” via email. You simply send an email introduction to the PT (that’s your “Prime Target”) and redirect him/her to your friend’s online dating site profile. PT will then have access to your friend’s otherwise private profile—meaning your friend can control who can view his/her profile and, of course, as your friend’s official matchmaker, you can help her find these possible love match viewers. And since you—and not some stranger or computer!—made the connection, PT and friend will have plenty to talk about (they already have YOU in common) and they can take it from there. Of course, you can probably still get it wrong sometimes but this is tons better than making them connect in person, face to face immediately. The email correspondence is a smoother, less nerve-wracking way for them to make the transition from total strangers to acquaintances than an instant blind date!

Or you can also give out an ingenious little ‘introduction card’. It works as discreetly as a business card. You can give this card, which simply says “There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” to PT. No other personal information (so friend and you stay safe!) except for a URL and custom access code that invite the recipient to go online to view your friend’s private and secure online profile. Then, they can start connecting from there on as well!

See how easy finding a love match can be? That is the real art of matchmaking: tasteful, informed, and hassle-free—for you and your friend.

(Article Dashboard) -  Divorce is a misery to begin with. You feel rejected and dejected. It’s a mess and a mess emotionally. And now you’re back in the dating world. Wouldn’t YOU want to know some dating after divorce tips before relaunching yourself into the meet and meat market of dating? Do you want some help before and guidance before you go on those dates again? Who wouldn’t!

1. GO SLOW!

Take it easy with yourself. Try some coffee with others. A lunch date, some very casual get-togethers. Do NOT go out on a Saturday night or a Friday night date to begin with. Those are like PROM night. There is so much pressure at the beginning. You haven’t been on a date in years. You will first need to rebuild your dating skill set before venturing out on a Friday or Saturday night date. Build up your dating self-confidence. Please go slowly with yourself and build up your dating social skills.

2. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF!

Give yourself time and space to ease back into this. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Go simple and easy for your first several dates. Yes DO dress up nicely and look your best. Don’t just wear your jeans, t shirt and Merrels, however, nor is this prom night. Something in between. Dressing up and looking your best is part of the practice you want for feeling confident. Don’t stint yourself. Look fabulous. You will FEEL fabulous when you do so.

3. DO DATE LOTS!

OK, when you fall off of a horse, what do they recommend you do? Get right back on. Same thing with dating. When you are looking to learn a new skill, what is one of the most effective learning methodologies? Repetition of fundamentals. Do you just through the ball one time and think you are now good at football? Or do you throw, and throw, and throw, and throw, and THROW! Yes. Precisely. You PRACTICE. Same principle in dating. Go on a LOT of first dates when you first get back in the game. You are simply looking to meet some lovely people and to practice feeling comfortable confident and poised meeting and making small talk with strangers. And then, who knows?

4. KEEP IT BRIEF!

Early dates when you are relaunching yourself socially are like Date0 (First Dates for Online Dating) for folks who are meeting from Online Dating. So with those early relaunch dates? Keep them to about 60-90 minutes. Drinks and Appetizers. Coffee. And if it MUST be coffee, just be sure to select a really FABULOUS ambiance like The Four Seasons or Trump Tower. LOVELY.

5. SIZE MATTERS!

Early on in your relaunch mode, you need to aim for QUANTITY of DATES over QUALITY of DATES. You need to go on about 20 dates just to get back in the swing of things with the current Dating World and practice your social poise and presentation. If your date asks you, “What are you looking for?” you might respond with something like, “I enjoy meeting new people and getting to know them. I want to be in a relationship again, but it’s too early for me to decide quite yet. I’m looking to meet new people and see where it goes.”

6. AVOID DATE NIGHT!

Avoid the TRADITIONAL DATE NIGHTS of Saturday and Friday nights to begin with. Go out on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Sunday night date. I do recommend evening dates for other reasons for a FIRST DATE to create and foster a romantic and flirtatious ambiance. Flirtation is part of your practice regime. So, just think, evening dates for early dates.

7. GO!

Yes, you MUST relaunch yourself. Indeed, give yourself some time to grieve and heal after your divorce, but I would recommend that within 12-24 months after a divorce, BY THEN, you need to venture back out into the Dating World and GO ON DATES.

(ARA) – Domestic violence is often talked about behind closed doors or never discussed at all. To break the silence, Academy Award-winning actress Mira Sorvino is joining forces with The Allstate Foundation to encourage Americans to Tell a Gal P.A.L. to talk about domestic violence.

The Tell a Gal P.A.L. campaign was designed to help Americans start the conversation:

Pass It On – Talk freely about domestic violence to break the taboo.

Act – Never underestimate how small acts, like listening, can make a big difference.

Learn – Empower yourself with knowledge and resources available to help yourself, or someone you know, out of an abusive relationship.

The Allstate Foundation, in partnership with the National Network to End Domestic Violence, developed a Financial Empowerment Curriculum to help victims achieve financial independence. It includes financial tools and information designed to enable survivors of domestic abuse to fully understand their financial circumstances, as well as engage in short-term and long-term planning to accomplish their personal goals.

More information on Tell a Gal P.A.L. and the Financial Empowerment Curriculum is available at www.ClickToEmpower.org. Domestic violence survivors in need of immediate assistance are encouraged to call The National Domestic Violence Hotline, (800) 799-SAFE (800-799-7233).

(ARA) – Ever wonder what your significant other is doing behind the shower curtain? Whether the toilet seat is left up or down or the toothpaste cap is left on or off — the differences between men and women’s bathroom habits are undeniable.

A recent “Behind the Shower Curtain” study by Water Pik Inc. took a peek at how men and women spend their time in the bathroom, what they value most about their behind-the-curtain experience and the nuances between each gender’s bathroom behaviors.

While men and women spend plenty of time irritated with each other’s bathroom habits — it seems they can agree on one thing — low water pressure is the No. 1 bathroom pet peeve amongst both groups.

Take time to explore the advanced water technology available today. For instance, the Waterpik brand showerhead line has advanced OptiFLOW technology which delivers up to 30 percent more water force — even in its low-flow options.

While 50 percent of people think it’s a hassle to change modes while showering, it’s easy to elevate your shower experience. Try replacing your showerhead with the Waterpik EasySelect showerhead. It’s the first handheld showerhead that features a fingertip five-mode selector in the handle.

(ARA) – Yearbooks are the original social networking venue. Interactive and timeless, yearbooks tell the story of the year at a particular school reflecting its richness and diversity.

Everyone is Included

Inclusiveness is one of the key reasons yearbooks remain in demand. Technology provides an easy way for all students and parents to upload and share images with the yearbook staff.

Everyone is Connected

Yearbooks celebrate belonging, connection and personal experiences — things that remain essential, even in the digital age. This emphasis on inclusiveness and community-building is a guiding principal of Minneapolis-based Jostens, Inc., a leading producer of yearbooks and memory books.

Technology Supports Tradition

According to Jostens, the majority of schools offer “yearbook” as a class. The real world experience helps develop skills in journalism, leadership and business. In addition to photography, writing and design, many staffs tap into Facebook and MySpace to generate marketing buzz and invite students to share story ideas and photos.

While technologies change, good storytelling never goes out of style. As decades come and go, smiling teenagers will still be flipping through the freshly printed pages of their brand new yearbooks, asking friends for their autographs and sharing stories.

(ARA) – The hectic pace of day-to-day life shows few signs of slowing; however, the peaceful sanctuary couples are seeking may be closer than they think – in their own bedrooms.

For many of today’s couples though, the terms “bedroom” and “peaceful sanctuary” are more an oxymoron than a reality. A recent survey from the National Sleep Foundation found 25 to 33 percent of couples feel their relationships are negatively impacted by their partner’s bad sleep habits, and Tempur-Pedic’s 2009 Wellness Survey supports this notion, finding 61 percent of adults admit they wish the bedroom was a place where they could relax.

First and foremost, couples need to set the mood for a good night’s sleep by creating a relaxing, “conflict free” sleeping environment.

Secondly, some couples need to find a way to deal with common sleep distractions, including regular movement from one’s partner during sleep. Investing in mattresses that minimize motion transfer, like those in Tempur-Pedic’s line of Swedish Sleep Systems, allow couples to be close without disturbing each other when moving.

To learn more about the Tempur-Pedic sleep experience from satisfied owners, visit www.tempurpedic.com/owners.

(ARA) – You can hear the wedding bells already, but before you say “I do,” there are a number of important things that you and your future spouse must do to become officially married.

Many newlyweds overlook the fact that a marriage is a legal contract. There are a number of legal steps that newlyweds must consider as part of the process, according to FindLaw.com, the world’s leading online source of legal information for consumers.

Changing names: If you decide to change your legal name, it means changing your name on everything.

Marriage requirements: Each state has its own requirements for couples wishing to be married, some of which include: marriage licenses, blood tests or residency requirements.

Marriage ceremonies: Most states have legal requirements pertaining to the marriage ceremony itself, including who may perform the marriage ceremony and whether witnesses are required.

Prenuptial agreements: A prenuptial agreement can help define the property and financial rights and obligations of marrying spouses, including what will happen if the marriage ends.

Marriage, money and property: Become familiar with what is and is not considered marital or “community” property.

Wedding day contracts: Work as a team to carefully identify credible wedding day vendors.

For more information about preparing to get married, visit www.findlaw.com.